- Me: Mom, Dad... I... I'm a top.
- Mom: What? I—I don't understand... Did we take you to too many football games?
- Dad: No son of mine is a top! We taught you how to work that ass, good and proper!
Argument I heard on the bus
- Guy 1: no, niggah, gay bros can raise babies. Look at that warthog motherfucker and that ferret thing that raised Simba. And that niggah became king of motherfucking Africa.
- i mean, one of them was nathan lane
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.